How to Make Your Kids Hate Skiing (Mistakes to Avoid)
Want to know how to make your kids hate skiing? Of course not! But it can happen if you don’t avoid these mistakes! A family trip to the mountains for a ski vacation is supposed to be a memorable bonding experience between generations. A ski trip is one of those special times where you can get the grandparents, parents and grandchildren all in one place for smiles, laughs and lots of memory-making. It’s supposed to be an unforgettable experience that younger family members carry on for decades to come – and hopefully share their passion with their own children and grandchildren in the future.
Of course – that’s the way it’s supposed to go. Anyone who’s ever been on a family ski vacation can tell you it’s not always rainbows and lollipops. Fact is, it’s a good chance there can be delays and other stresses along the way that can lead to families bickering … or worse. From flight delays and lodging issues to expensive lift tickets and inflated dining costs, there are a lot of factors that can lead to an unpleasant experience. Make too many mistakes along the way and your kids may start to hate skiing.
That’s something that we don’t want to happen. Here At Skier Deals, we’re looking forward to sharing deals and specials with your kids, your kid’s kids, their children and so on and so on. In short, we plan on being here for a while, but we need happy skiers in the future to make that happen.
So, we came up with this tongue-in-cheek look into how to make your kids hate skiing. Please keep in mind that this light-hearted look at the pitfalls of a potential ski vacation and how to avoid making mistakes is merely presented in a fun, entertaining fashion. These are mistakes you want to avoid – not a how-to guide! We simply came up with a creative way of letting you know what NOT to do. Enjoy this colorful and playful presentation:
The Big Drive Method
Nothing kicks off a frustrating ski vacation more than a very long car ride – we’ll call it “The Big Drive.” Kids love spending long hours in the car, so plan a drive that’s at least 10 hours long. Pack a lot of stuff in your car and take minimal bathroom breaks. Pack a cooler with egg salad sandwiches for a quick lunch and be sure to keep the windows rolled up. Chew with your mouth open and offer the kids a tub of coleslaw as a snack. Also, shoes and socks are optional during “The Big Drive.” To up the ante, don’t shower in the days leading to departure.
For added fun, don’t get your car serviced before you leave home. Blowing a tire and breaking down along the interstate or narrow mountain road is an exciting for everyone!
Some people will try to tell you to fly to a larger airport like Salt Lake City or Denver at a cheap rate and save a bunch of time and money. But what do they know? Moreover, some people will even recommend flying directly to a ski resort town like Aspen, Telluride or Crested Butte to maximize time and even avoid car rental expenses. Well, kids love to fly – so that doesn’t make any sense at all.
Lackadaisical Lodging
This one’s easy. Kids love a sweet hotel room, so pick crummy accommodations with little or no amenities. Although there’s tons of awesome ski lodges, inns and resorts from which to choose, pick something that’s old and outdated. If you look online, you can find some dumpy condos that haven’t been updated since the 1970s. Poke around and book something sketchy. Be sure to spend too much on lodging so you have an excuse to not buy the kids any souvenirs.
Book the smallest condo or hotel you can find with minimal bedding. Make sure to pick a hotel furthest away from the mountain where there’s nothing to do. Having nothing to do after the slopes close will drive the little buggers crazy. Also (and this should be a no-brainer): no pool, no hot tub, no activity center, nothing. When it comes to amenities the Rule of Thumb is “zip, zero, nada.”
Pro tip: Don’t waste time looking on sites like ours because all their lodging is updated, recently renovated and affordable. Plus, its properties have tons of amenities like pools, hot tubs, free breakfasts, complimentary transportation and lots of other stuff kids would love.
Gear Gaffes
When it comes to ski gear, you have two options as a parent. If you have gear at home, make you kid bring everything. This will help fill up the car to capacity or increase baggage costs at the airport. Also, it’s kind of funny to see your 17-year-old son try on the ski pants he wore in third grade. Old boots are even better. Get your child in a pair of boots that’s a full size too small. The constant whining and complaining is enough to make any vindictive parent smile on the inside just a little bit.
Under no circumstances do you rent quality name-brand ski gear. Renting cheap gear that breaks easily or malfunctions will give you plenty of opportunity to tell your kid how they don’t respect anything.
Stay away from reputable ski rental companies that have top-of-the-line gear like skis, snowboards, boots, bindings, helmets, gloves, socks and outerwear. Some rental companies even offer free delivery right to your condo and provide custom fittings for each skier in your group. Also, there’s a bunch of coupons and deals here on our site that can save on these services. (The main keys to making your kids hate skiing is terrible gear, so avoid this at all costs. Get your head in the game!)
Lesson on Ski Lessons
Nobody needs ski lessons. Hey, I was an athlete in high school but never skied before, but it looks easy. My kids play soccer and go to gymnastics once a week so I’m sure they can handle it.
This is pretty much the perfect attitude to have if you never want your kids to go near a mountain ever again. They will have no idea how to move around, how to start, how to turn and (most importantly) how to stop. If your kids don’t take lessons, they’ll never learn “pizza and French fries” – or anything else. Not taking lessons ensures your kids will be a danger to themselves and others on the mountain. Be careful though – you can be liable if your child suffers a horrific accident. You might even go to jail.
Everyone’s going to say to take lessons – at least a day or two – even if you’ve skied in the distant pass. People will say you need to freshen up and build muscle memory and skill before heading to the mountain, but that could be fake news.
Lift Ticket Tactics
Ugh, this is a tough one. It would be easy to say just walk up, but that might be overly cruel. So, I guess you’re going to need lift tickets. Even though lift tickets are less expensive for kids, here are a few ways to really stick it to them.
First, make them save their own money for lift tickets all year long. Get a jar a make them save responsibly to pay their own way. When you get to the resort, make them pay full price at the window for a single-day lift ticket. Single-day lift tickets are by far the most expensive, so it should drain their resources very quickly. Do this every day until they are out of money – it should not take long.
Under no circumstances should you inform them about huge savings on lift ticket deals by purchasing through SkierDeals.com. There are way too many deals on that website. Even if you kid pays his own lift, they’ll get way more bang for their buck at SkierDeals.com. More days means more fun, so try to limit that at all costs.
Closing the Show
Most adults know there’s lots of cool things to do in the mountains: tasty restaurants, museums, performances, landmarks, shopping and various adventure centers. But kids don’t know that. Stick to skiing and that’s it. This simple formula is an easy reminder when pulling off a ski vacation your kids will hate – car, hotel, ski, car, hotel, ski, car.
Limit eating out because it means you’ll have to bond with your family. If you’re forced to eat at one of these delectable restaurants, make your high schoolers order from the kids’ menu. Don’t offer dessert either, because many of these mountain restaurants have an amazing dessert tray.
When it’s time to head home, repeat the packing process like before you left – and do not clean the car out first. The added seasoning will only make the trip home more flavorful.
Here in the Real World
Back in the real world, we of course love our children and cherish every moment with them. We hope you enjoyed this light-hearted look at missteps you could potentially make along the way when planning a family ski getaway. We were merely pointing out the absurdities of many poor decisions that can be made when planning a ski trip.
To get your family away on a memorable ski vacay, check out our current deals here on our site. We have specials on lodging, ski rentals, lift tickets and more at most of the nation’s best ski resorts. The best part is you can stack deals and save on every aspect of your trip.